Invisible Police in Hyndburn & the path they could not close?

Accrington Opinion Satire Woke watch

Here is the latest piece what I wrote, sorry I went to Hollins!

In Hyndburn, Police seem to be rarer than footballers’ brains, in fact, the only time you see them is when the chip shop is open!

Parking on double yellow lines is the new normal as the armed response squad gets its cod and chips. I haven’t seen a cop in Clayton Le Moors since Boris was in short trousers.

In fact, there are only seven Police officers based in Accrington, so it is no surprise that you never see them!

“Being offensive is not an offence”

Free speech laws

The path they could not close, Woodnook Vale. Your Council tax in action.

The not-closed path.

During the recent storms, a few trees came down onto the path along Woodnook vale. The woke gnomes from the council could not wait to rush out with their little “Danger trees” signs, for the woods, and close the path. The stripy tape appeared and a half-assed attempt was made to deter the locals from this well-used path.

When I saw the trees down, I knew they would try to close the path for six months while they found a chainsaw. However, they did not take into account people-power. Shortly after the tape was tied across, the locals reopened the path with a pair of scissors.

The fallen trees had actually been cleared before they tried to close the path! The main concern is the part of the path that went into the river, along with the tree. However, most people with three brain cells can walk around the hole.

Update, the hole part 2.

Since I was last down there this piece of tape appeared. Apparently, barriers are in short supply in Accrington. On the subject of trees, whoever put this up wins the plank of the year award.

It takes more than a bit of tape to stop the indomitable people of Accrington! Round of applause, please.

Meanwhile at the other end… another successful attempt at closure. The email for the person responsible is on the sign, unfortunately, I can’t quite make it out…

Tune in next week for more council incompetence in Hyndburn.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue…

Cartoon, Ugly Hedehog.

I do a lot of model making and usually get glue from the pound shop, in Accrington. As you may know, trying to get glue through the Robo-moron checkout, can result in all kinds of embarrassment. Notably, the flashing red lights on stalks go off, an alarm sounds and a Dalek-like voice says, authorization required!… authorization required! …..

Consequently, I usually wait for a human operator! On this fateful day, I approached the young man on the till who informed me that he would have to call his supervisor (usually at the opposite end of the building) to authorise the glue. however, he could authorise it through Robo-moron! Next, we traipsed over to Robo-moron and went through the usual rigmarole anyway!

And they wonder why Amazon is taking over the world.

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